In The Blog Of The Cripple King

Demo Review: Laceration – Realms Of The Unconscious

kingcripple — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:34:00 +0000

REVIEW: Here’s a nifty little death thrash demo that arrived in my mailbox the other day to much delight. Laceration‘s Realms Of The Unconscious (Skeleton Plague Records, 2010) probably leans more towards thrash than death metal, but it’s a solid representation of the style. Laceration is firmly rooted in the often underrated soil of Demolition Hammer with a no-frills attitude towards riffage that’s heavy on speed and aggression. It’s a style that hasn’t been touched upon much despite the resurgence of thrash over the last few years. And Laceration fuckin’ nails it. The three songs on this cassette rip through a ton of riffs with a surprisingly dynamic approach. The band clearly has a desire to play with a frenetic energy, but when they step off the accelerator a bit they deliver some variants that show that they aren’t a one trick, speed-trumps-all pony. It also shows that they can write memorable songs, as they flex some compositional muscle unleashing a firestorm of thrash-y riffage that remains relevant through a number of tempo shifts like the blistering mid-section and stalking bass break of “Self Deprivation” and the breakdowns that pepper “Shadows Of Existence”. They have the ability to create both fist-thorough-the-wall energy and easy, head rockin’ grooves that’s a rare but lethal combination.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Self Deprivation”

BOTTOM LINE: Realms Of The Unconscious has only one significant flaw: it only contains three songs. But the 16 minutes of material here should firmly cement Laceration as a band to watch in the future, and for only $5, there’s no excuse not to own this. – 3.7/5.0

Laceration

Skeleton Plague Records

Film Review: Blood Gnome (2004)

kingcripple — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 22:19:00 +0000

TAGLINE: Terror Under Your Feet!

SYNOPSIS: Daniel (Vincent Bilancio) is a crime scene photographer who has recently returned to his job after a stint in a psychiatric ward. He discovers tiny, otherwise-invisible creatures on his infrared camera while investigating a series of murders involving individuals engaged in “bloodsports”, a certain type of BDSM that involves self-inflicted wounds. He asks Divinity (Melissa Pursely), a member of the BDSM community, to help him navigate through the fetish underground and figure out why these people are being targeted.

TITS & ASS: Melissa Pursely and Julie Strain are two of several gorgeous women to flash their pale, milky white tits on screen. There’s hardly nothing shown below the waist in the film, and there’s thankfully no man parts to spoil things, but there is ample footage of upwards of a dozen spectacularly topless women, who are usually tied up or engaged in some act of bondage or sadomasochism, crammed into a measly 87 minutes.

GORE: The film isn’t terribly gory, but such is the plight of any low-budget horror film. All of the effects are practical with a bloody throat slash early on, but the gnomes and the “mother” creature are clearly latex puppets. None of the effects are really convincing, and the attacks by the gnomes are usually superficial bites and scratches, but if Hollywood made this film all of the gnomes would be shitty, CGI cartoons. And I’ll take obvious puppets over CGI every time.

REVIEW: I think heavy metal and horror films are the two forms of art that can sell themselves strictly by excellent cover art and a creative title. I bit on this film simply because of its title. It didn’t hurt that its back cover said that the blood gnomes come from another dimension, but it was the title of the film that initially caused me to stop and pick it up. And I can also say that the $5 I spent on the film was both appropriate and worth it. Blood Gnome is a micro-budget, convoluted mess of a film that has a sloppy script, low production values, largely unexplained events and sterile acting. But it has lots of hot, topless women and the promise of some bloodthirsty gnomes, and when it comes to a film with this little of a budget, that’s all I really need to enjoy it. Writer/director John Lechago says in the “making of” feature on the DVD that a horror film, regardless of budget, can have sex and violence. I completely agree with him. And honestly, Blood Gnome doesn’t have much else. It’s not scary, as the majority of the film vacillates between a loosely held together storyline and sex scenes/gnome attacks. But it delivers the goods, and even has a bloody monster vagina.

BOTTOM LINE: As long as you know what to expect going in, Blood Gnome is a watchable film. I probably won’t reach for it often, but when a couple of friends are over and the need for some terrible horror, and lots of boobs, strikes, Blood Gnome should do the trick nicely.

Netflix

Film Review: The Mountain Of The Cannibal God (1978)

kingcripple — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 21:24:00 +0000

TAGLINE: Their Cult Was Death… Their Lust Was For Blood!

SYNOPSIS: Susan Stevenson (Ursula Andress) and her brother Arthur (Antonio Marsina) come to New Guinea in search of her husband, Henry. The two enlist the help of Edward Foster (Stacy Keach), an anthropologist that works with Henry, who suspects that he went to a small island to find the allegedly cursed Ra-Ra-Me, which translates as “Mountain of the Cannibal God”.

TITS & ASS: Ursula Andress bares her ample bosom a couple of times, though most titillatingly so as she is rubbed down by two naked, female natives, who the majority of are topless during the film. One female native has a boring sex scene with Antonio Marsina while another engages in a surprisingly lengthy and close-up bit of masterbation that features some mild penetration. There’s even an odd but thankfully brief man-on-pig bestiality scene in the Blue Underground version of the film I own.

GORE: The film isn’t as gory as other entries into the Italian cannibal subgenre, but there are still a lot of grisly bits to see here. There’s a limb chewed off by an alligator, multiple stabbings and decapitations, death by booby-trap, skulls being caved in and a close-up of a penectomy performed by a crude, stone instrument. But there’s also a couple of shots of animal cruelty, which is a sad staple of the cannibal subgenre, as the film’s infamous shot of a python eating a monkey is tough to sit through as the monkey struggles to free itself.

REVIEW: The Mountain Of The Cannibal God is about 85% coherent storyline and 15% absolute mind fuckery, and that’s about the right formula for my tastes. It has the usual “searching for a loved one lost deep in the jungle” storyline, yet it maintains a raw, documentary-like feel while still being a very polished film. It’s paced well and has plenty of action that vacillates between attacks from the wild, i.e., snakes, spiders and gators, and attacks by indigenous tribes that breaks up the monotony when films of this style hinge largely on repetitive, guerrilla attacks by natives. The acting is also solid with Keach and Claudio Cassinelli, who plays Manolo, a fellow anthropologist living amongst a tribe, doing the majority of the heavy lifting. And that’s a good thing, as Ursula Andress’ dialogue is rigid and awkward but short and infrequent. The film’s climax is where things get bizarre (and heat up with most of the sexual acts noted above occurring at that time), but it never derails the film into some incomprehensible wasteland where you feel like it just spoiled the last 80 minutes of cellophane. There’s also some unexpected plot twists at the end of the film that makes it clear that the entire reason for the expedition, and everyone subsequently joining, had nothing to do with the search for Susan’s husband, Henry. I find this emphasis on story as opposed to over-the-top visuals to be a nice change of pace, though the film certainly doesn’t lack any of the explication elements these films have a reputation to contain.

BOTTOM LINE: The Mountain Of The Cannibal God is an early cannibal film that’s not as gory, explicative or notorious as entries like Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox, but is still solid and worthwhile. I do wish Antonio Marsina’s character, the combative catalyst and horribly annoying Arthur, had met a more violent demise, but the film boasts the only cannibal midgit I’ve ever seen, so the two balance each other out.

Trailer
Netflix

Music Review: Adversarial – All Idols Fall Before The Hammer

kingcripple — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 19:38:00 +0000

REVIEW: Adversarial‘s All Idols Fall Before The Hammer (Dark Descent Records, 2010) was hotly anticipated by the underground metal community, or I should say, anyone that heard the band’s excellent 2008 demo, Thralls. I heard said demo, and so I was counted amongst those that were excited about the announcement of the band’s full-length debut. But now that it’s been released and reviews have started to pop up across the interwebs, I can be counted amongst those that are disappointed by the terrible production on the album. Adversarial play black-tinged death metal that’s largely frenetic yet entirely fluid, and it’s in the former where, in conjunction with the drums overpowering presence, that the album’s biggest flaw resides. The propulsive drive of these songs has the drums play an almost constant blast beat. I wouldn’t be bothered by such a decision had the drums, and the snare in particular, been mixed with a lighter touch, but the skins completely bury all other expressions by the band. The drums do occasionally relent, like on the back half of “Ruin Enshrined” where you can pick up on the Canadian three-piece’s brand of awesomeness, but the snare soon resumes its obnoxious, metallic “ping” and it’s all lost again.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Ruin Enshrined”

BOTTOM LINE: I’m sort of saddened when I to listen to All Idols Fall Before The Hammer, as Adversarial really do deserve the larger attention of the metal community, but I’d be hard pressed to cite this album as an example of their excellence. – 1.9/5.0

Adversarial
Dark Descent Records

Music Review: Beyond Hell – The Sleeper Awakens

kingcripple — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 17:32:00 +0000

REVIEW: Beyond Hell play old-school metal of death. The Sleeper Awakens (Dark Descent Records/Skeleton Plague Records, 2010) is crude and primitive in its delivery similar to classics like Obituary‘s Slowly We Rot and Autopsy‘s Severed Survival. But like those that came before, it lurches, haunts and bludgeons in enough ways to keep you interested despite treading on a well-worn path. Early efforts “The World Burns Forever” and “The Way Of Death” aren’t flat-out stinkers, but they are rather generic tunes, and the album takes a weak first step forward because of them. But personal favorite “Approaching Doom” cuts through their cobwebs with its sturdy death metal backbone and its Death-inspired riffs. Ghastly Shredder has a style that involves a lot of sweeps during his solos, which is unexpected given the nature of this material, but it’s also a little too repetitive, especially on early songs, and diminishes their impact. But the hardcharging rhythms and melodic wails of “Apocalyptic Dreams”, the acoustic entrence and grimey grooves of “The Sleeper Awakens” and the filthy scrawl and frenzied fretwork of “Embrace The Eternal Darkness” are all excellent slabs of doom-y death that’ll make you overlook such minor shortcomings.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Approaching Doom”

BOTTOM LINE: The Sleeper Awakens also contains Beyond Hell‘s … And Evil Crept Through EP that’s equally solid though not as doom-y. Yet, when you play at all, you’ll find a band that’s thoroughly entertaining even in a time when every guy that’s heard the above influences starts an “old-school” death metal band.

Beyond Hell

Dark Descent Records

Skeleton Plague Records

Music Review: The Wounded Kings – The Shadow Over Atlantis

kingcripple — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 00:35:00 +0000

REVIEW: The Wounded Kings is a powerful machine of doom. This machine is powered by two musicians, George Birch and primary songwriter Steve Mills, and on The Shadow Over Atlantis (I Hate Records, 2010) the compositions are mechanized by three separate yet significant cogs: 1) the slow, churning rhythm guitar that keeps the songs at a consistent crawl; 2) the psychedelic lead guitar that gradually gains traction and momentum as the songs progress; and 3) George Birch’s haunting, cavernous wail. These three elements form a Candlemass-y wall of sound that, despite the previous reference, is a staunch yet surprisingly original take on doom. The aquatic theme of the album is also quite apt, as I didn’t find The Shadow Over Atlantis as oppressive as a lot of doom releases. It actually makes me feel suspended or weightless like I’m slowly sinking into a watery, down-tuned chasm of distorted, looping chords and sluggish, bluesy riffs where the sharpness of it all is muted by my lack of oxygen and my painfully slow descent into the long-lost Atlantis. Interludes like “Into The Ocean’s Abyss” and “Deathless Echo” offer a shallow gasp of air and a brief repite from this descent, but they’re no match for the relentless yet ever changing rise and fall of the album’s main offerings.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “The Swirling Mist”

BOTTOM LINE: The Wounded Kings‘ The Shadow Over Atlantis is the best doom release of the year by a fucking mile (Mar de Grises‘ Streams Inwards its only possible rival now). Any of you that fancy yourselves doom fans need to find a copy of this album. It’s one of the years best. – 4.5/5.0

The Wounded Kings

I Hate Records

Music Review: Wuthering Heights – Salt

kingcripple — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 00:31:00 +0000

REVIEW: I’ll admit it: I’m a Wuthering Heights fan. The Shadow Cabinet (Sensory Records, 2006) was fantastic, and so is the entirety of Wuthering Heights‘ catalog. That’s quite a statement when you consider the band is five albums in, and they’ve certainly not lost a single fucking step here, as Salt (Sensory Records, 2010) is a worthwhile entry into their catalog and a unique effort due to its nautical theme. This is conveyed lyrically but also through the use of swaying, maritime melodies and rhythms in conjunction with the usual galloping power metal passages and folky interludes, which have a larger role on this album than past efforts, while classical melodies and Nils Patrik Johansson’s gorgeous vocals soar above the whole proggy collection of Euro-power metal. The thing I’ve always loved about Wuthering Heights, and metal in general, is the dynamic and theatrical songs they write. Johansson’s tone and phrasing do a lot to animate these songs, and the songs consistently shift in style and delivery, but he always has a rock-fucking-solid hook to anchor a song. Wuthering Heights occasionally throw more at the listener than what can be digested, like on the bloated, 16 minute “Lost At Sea” or the dodgy “The Field”, but more linear songs like opener “The Desperate Poet”, the folky “Tears” and the rousing “Weather The Storm” showcase the band without much of a challenge.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Tears”

BOTTOM LINE: This type of material always gets slathered with the “cheesy” tag, and I can’t combat such an attack, but those of you open-minded to this brand of cheese will be heavily rewarded, as Salt is packed with more memorable moments than the majority of releases I’ve heard this year. Take a step back Alestorm, there’s a new king of the seas. – 4.0/5.0

Wuthering Heights

Sensory Records

Music Review: Cebren-Khal – A Mass Of Despair

kingcripple — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:55:00 +0000

REVIEW: Cebren-Khal is a band that’s rather bittersweet, as A Mass Of Despair (Solitude Production, 2010) is a surprisingly emotive amalgamation of melodic black metal savagery and weighty death doom despondency. But they’re also a little generic at times, and it all depends on the style they play. The death doom style is really the foundation of Cebren-Khal, and the part I find the most successful and redeeming, with mild gothic undertones and offshoots into melodic black metal filling in the recesses. The accompanying e-mail uses the term “dark metal” to describe this influence, which I hate, but regardless of the chosen descriptor, it all comes together relatively well. Cebren-Khal sound like a Dimmu Borgir understudy at their worst and a subscriber to the Novembers Doom or My Dying Bride sound at their best. The album gets stronger as it plays and culminates in closer and personal favorite “Where All Hope Is Lost”, but the centerpiece of the entire album is “The Lunar Tragedy” suite, a trilogy of songs that span nearly 20 minutes. The up-tempo “The Parcae’s Night Is Sleepless” opens the suite, but its two follow-ups really surpass it. “Mouroir, Mouroir, Suis-Je Le Plus Mort” and “Experience Of Downfall” have a strong arc while still maintaining a dynamic ebb and flow that the other songs, with the exception of “Where All Hope Is Lost”, either spoil or fail to achieve.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “The Lunar Tragedy – Act 3: Experience Of Downfall”

BOTTOM LINE: The vocals, which range from moody, spoken word to throat-shredding rasps and guttural expulsions, really go a long ways towards the emotional impact of songs like “Mortshaped” and “Where All Hope Is Lost”. It’s just too bad the former completely ruins all emotional momentum with a clumsy transition at the end, which seems to be an issue for the band on the album. But even in light of the above issues, Cebren-Khal‘s A Mass Of Despair is a promising debut by a band that needs a little work but could be impressive on future albums. – 2.5/5.0

Cebren-Khal
Solitude Productions

Music Review: The Dead – Ritual Executions

kingcripple — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 22:22:00 +0000

REVIEW: The Dead‘s Ritual Executions (Diabolical Conquest Records, 2010) is a murky, distorted-to-the-brink-of-ruin slab of sludgy death metal that gives serious nods to doom. The Dead has a style that’s rather unique, as I couldn’t think of another band that’s this groovy and grimy all at once. Their riffs, and the album as a whole, are incredibly dense and take a couple of listens to fully explore all of their murky recesses. But it’s time well spent. Adam Keleher’s riffs have a unique slide-style delivery to them that works in either death metal or sludgy doom mode, and his bass work is also surprisingly multifaceted with the aggressive, spastic throbs of “Born In A Grave” and “Ritual Executions” and his jazzy work on “Death Metal Suicide”, a 10 minute instrumental that forgoes the brooding, landslide of riffs employed on other songs and leans on a more classic rock approach. But what of that brooding, landslide of riffs? Well, the eight minute “Burn Your Dead” primes your ears perfectly for the next five songs, with the aforementioned “Death Metal Suicide” making the noted departure, as its groovy, laid-back yet heaving delivery creates a style reminiscent of Autopsy playing Black Sabbath. Similarly loping dirges like “Centurion” and “Blood Angel” quake with this mighty delivery while up-tempo counterparts “Cannibal Abattiior” and “Ritual Executions” feature shifty riffage and full on double bass yet still utilize the same catchy grooves – like those of personal favorite “Cannibal Abattiior” below.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Cannibal Abattiior”

BOTTOM LINE: Ritual Executions is simply a well done album that should resonate well with death metal, sludge and doom fans. it’s also the inaugural release of Diabolical Conquest Records, and so, in the interest of full disclosure, I want to acknowledge that I’m a writer for the webzine portion of the newly launched label. But King Cripple is no fucking lapdog, so when I say that this album delivers the goods, I mean it, regardless of its label or distribution. – 3.7/5.0

The Dead
Diabolical Conquest Records

Music Review: Stoned Jesus – First Communion

kingcripple — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 22:16:00 +0000

REVIEW: It’s not uncommon for Black Sabbath‘s name to be dropped in a doom review – they invented the style. But Stoned Jesus should market themselves as a Black Sabbath tribute band. The Ukrainian outfit tries to write original material, as First Communion (Solitude Production, 2010) is their debut full-length after releasing a couple of demos, but every thought they have belongs to Black Sabbath. And I’ll be honest, it doesn’t bother me too much. I’m always put off when bands of this ilk have vocalists that sound like Ozzy, and this vocalist’s tone and phrasing are sometimes way too close to the former’s croon, but I’m a sucker for fuzzy, bass-heavy riffage with a bluesy swagger. And so the problem I have with this album is that there aren’t a lot of riffs. “Back Woods” and “Falling Apart”, two 11+ minute dirges, ride a single riff for thier respective durations and do just enough to hold my attention, yet I can’t help but want a little more movement to the songs. The band has a pretty good understanding of when a change is needed and will introduce a sample or melody, and I can’t say I’m completely bored by any of their songs, but I also can’t say that anything on the album blew me away. Opener “Occult”, which has a Reverend Bizarre bent early on, fills its front half with crawling, open chords but picks things up with a more smoked-out, psychedelic back half while the short “Red Wine” is easily the best here with its catchy soft/loud delivery.

http://kingcripple.com/audio/player.swf “Red Wine”

BOTTOM LINE: Stoned Jesus, which I have to say is an effective yet terrible name, is a capable stoner band, but there are a lot of capable bands like them out there, and they don’t do enough to elevate themselves from the others. – 3.0/5.0

Stoned Jesus
Solitude Productions